Seeking a Belaytionship by Lindzi Platt

Out and about,

I’m looking good,

A fine boy in my neighborhood.

 

Note: this poem is published in Volume 26, now available

He checks me out,

Says with a smile,

“Hey, let’s get drinks and talk a while.”

 

But skies are clear

And temps sublime—

So sorry, guy, I’ve gotta climb.

 

Get to the crag,

These boys have ropes.

So you would think a girl’d have hope.

 

Strong, chalky hands,

And too-tight shoes,

Pushing the crux, it’s quite the view.

 

If chicks be young,

They’re getting flirty.

No chance for me—I’m over thirty.

 

I don’t despair

I hit the road,

Rack up some stories to be told.

 

Dudes live in cars

They have no money

Low-hanging fruit? Plus, guys, I’m funny!

 

I meet a man—

The sex was fine,

He leads me up a stunning line

 

But once we’re down

Oh woe is me

I’m showered with misogyny.

 

I don’t give up,

I’m climbing stronger.

My summer flings are getting longer.

 

A van-life love—

Wait, spoke too soon,

He found a new girl with a room.

 

Still, romance blooms within the Valley,

A tradding girl can always rally.

 

Just take it slow and have some fun,

Hold up, I’ve found another one!

 

We’re meant to be!

Then temps turn bleak…

That asshole ditched me for the Creek!

 

Time’s running out,

I’m getting older

In desperation, move to Boulder.

 

Next one’s for real,

This isn’t maybe.

What—wait! He wants to make a baby?

 

Well it’s been fun,

Truly a whirl.

But, thanks, I’ll just climb with the girls.

 

Lindzi is a safety-oriented, compulsive wanderer who’s currently exploring the joys of staying put in Boulder, Colorado. In addition to touching rocks, she enjoys storytelling, comedy, dogs, and good conversations on long approaches.

This poem is published in Volume 26 of The Climbing Zine, now available.