shooshing v. 1. Acting cowardly while climbing for no tangible reason.
Note this piece is published in Volume 18 of The Climbing Zine
fingers gripping, slipping
soft grains of sand against rubber
a brief slide of foot down rock
breath tightens, body clenches
doubt seeps in
it’s all too much
I can’t go on
I am afraid
This is a conversation on headspace. Mindset. The twists and turns of internal dialogue. The flow versus the freeze.
An experience with
and reaction to
fear.
It occurs when we indulge in our fears
Our irrational fears
Fears that are rooted in a place of doubt
Doubt in ourselves, our capabilities
Doubt in our gear, our partner
Doubt in the experience itself
Perhaps we try to push our fears into the background
as if fear could just disappear with enough distance
Or we seek distraction
pass time with our focus distinctly elsewhere
as if fear could just disappear with enough time
We don’t deal
and the cycle continues
To shoosh, one must be in a place of doubt, unable to make effective progress because they are scared. Instead, actions may include, but are not limited to:
microplacing
gear fiddling
downclimbing
building a fear-nest
rapidly whipping head around looking for options
muttering, swearing, or yelling
the shooshy toots and other involuntary noises
excessive chalking
grabbing gear
and of course
taking.
In context, perhaps the shooshiest part of their shoosh fest was right after TR shooshing on the traverse, while coweather-shooshing about the shooshy thin gear section on the following pitch, those preshooshers.
We all know it well
We all shoosh
Shooshing is a universal encounter
It is part of the climbing experience
the game we all play
the puzzle we return to
again and again
It is an experience guided by doubt
And so this is also a conversation on choice
Free will
Reaction
This is about a chance to welcome change
A change in headspace, mindset
A change in experience
This is a chance at release
A refocusing toward belief, trust
Trust in self, gear, partner
Trust in experience
An opportunity to connect with awareness
Awareness of feeling
place
moment
Awareness of headspace, mindset
Awareness of experience
Allowing space to cultivate growth
Growth in self
Allowing space to cultivate flow
Flow in experience
Allowing space to cultivate acceptance
release
A rope twisted tight will naturally unravel
All you have to do
is let go
And it is about fortitude
Perseverance
Achieving, in spite of
Facing challenge
Seeking it out
It is about believing and enduring
building a strength of mind and will
especially in times of adversity
It is about doing this
again and again
Growing
Facing fear
Believing, in spite of
And yet still
We freeze
We don’t believe
And we indulge
We repress and we escape
We maintain space in our old habits
Judging ourselves
Shaming ourselves
Doing the same to others
We continue
stuck.
Cycling.
Shooshing.
What could happen if we cultivated this change?
What could happen if we cultivated support?
Offered belief to ourselves, to others
Where would this lead us?
How do we let go?
How do we believe?
Where does one go from here?
Ana Ally (pronounced Ah-nah, like marijuana) is a climber, backpacker, and self-proclaimed nerd who just wants to spend her time laughing and playing in the great outdoors, collecting experience and exploring the Earth. Graduating college in 2015, she promptly moved into her Subaru, drove west, and hasn’t looked back.
